


Heart beating a thousand minutes per second

by fazcinatingreads



Category: AFL - Fandom, Comedy - Fandom, Football - Fandom, Game - Fandom, football match - Fandom, stand up comedy - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 10:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fazcinatingreads/pseuds/fazcinatingreads
Summary: Jack Higgins attempts to continue his stand up routine at his new club





	Heart beating a thousand minutes per second

"Hey, you want to know a secret?" Jack Higgins leaned over to Ed Phillips as they sat against the wall, preparing for the game that day.

"What?" Ed asked, taking his headphones off.

"I've cheated against Collingwood twice," Jack whispered theatrically.

Ed shook his head. "That's not really a secret," he said, "Tom brings it up every time you come over for dinner."

"Alright," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"You got your stand up material ready for the 3/4 time huddle?" Ed asked.

Jack perked up and looked expectantly at Ed. "You really think they'll let me do it? What about the breathing exercises they all do?"

"You've been talking yourself up all preseason," Ed said with a shrug, "I'm sure the other boys are dying to hear your material as much as I am."

"Awesome!" Jack said, standing up and running out of the room.

...

At the opening bounce, Ed Phillips stood next to his brother, both of them surveying the field.

"How's Jack settling in to the club?" Tom asked.

"Pretty well," Ed replied, "He's doing his stand up comedy at 3/4 time."

"Ooh, lucky you," Tom said, grinning.

The ball got bounced and it was on. Ed trailed Tom for the whole quarter, unable to catch up with his elite endurance and ability to find space. 

...

After Brett Ratten gave them all a spray at 3/4 time, the boys desperately needed some light comic relief. Ed nudged Jack.

The boys huddled around each other and looked at Jarryn Geary for his pep talk.

But it was Jack Higgins who spoke.

"Alright boys," Jack said, eyes turning to him incredulously, "This team we're up against, they're known for their excessive handballs. Their entire forward line revolves around a giant American. They say their captain is like a fine wine, but I reckon he's more like grape juice." Some boys had wary smiles, some were just stoic. 

"Okay, positives about us. We've got the lesser Phillips but definitely the better Steele." Jack Steele smiled in appreciation. Jack Higgins went on, "And we're loaded with Jacks. Now let's go out there and smash them like the jumping jacks we are."

The boys roared in response and all parted ways to their positions on the field.

Ed came up besides Jack as they walked to their positions. "A good first effort," Ed said, gently.

"It was much easier to make the guys at Richmond laugh," Jack said, almost sadly. "Maybe I should've used my jokes about the Sydney Harbour bridge."

"You'll get better, champ," Ed said, clapping Jack on the back, and running off to his spot on the wing next to his brother.


End file.
